Current Weight: 221.6 lbs.
Before I get to the Obstacles Breakdown, a few updates:
P90X Update:
This week was the off week for the first 30 days of the P90X
program as to cause muscle confusion so the next 30 days I bulk up, which means
I’ve been doing nothing but stretches, Yoga, and Core Synergistic (Obscene core
work) workouts all week. On the bright side I got to attempt 2 new P90X DVDs
from the bundle, and here’s my quick summary of them:
Stretch X – Bullshit. All he did was combine all of the stretches from the other DVDs and make one collaborative DVD that isn’t that helpful. The Yoga DVD was much more helpful stretching and overall workout-wise.
Core Synergistics - I had no idea what Synergistics was prior to this DVD, and now I know…working more than one muscle group at once. Half of the excercises I can do in my sleep, the other half I can’t even do. It’s going to take some work to bring this workout up to par for me.
Stretch X – Bullshit. All he did was combine all of the stretches from the other DVDs and make one collaborative DVD that isn’t that helpful. The Yoga DVD was much more helpful stretching and overall workout-wise.
Core Synergistics - I had no idea what Synergistics was prior to this DVD, and now I know…working more than one muscle group at once. Half of the excercises I can do in my sleep, the other half I can’t even do. It’s going to take some work to bring this workout up to par for me.
Supplements:
I’ve finally had a noticeable difference due to the
supplements, and definitely not a desired one. The CLA that I’m taking
apparently does break down your already stored fat cells and puts them in the
blood stream for energy and for you to use. The part they neglect to mention is
that if you don’t use it the pill basically starts to work like a water pill,
which basically translates to the past week since it’s been my off week, I haven’t
been working out as hard and I’ve been pissing like a race horse the last half
of my shifts all week at work. The things one learns from being his own
personal Guinea pig.
Saturday Run:
This was my first time running the Circle B
Bar Reserve running trail, and though we had to cut it short due to one of
our runners having a near death experience, it was still a lot of fun. Here’s
the stop motion video, I’ll post the live action one later once I get a chance
to edit it (on a side not, I am thoroughly loving my new GoPro black edition).
The Obstacles:
From what I’ve discovered after
reading online, Here are all of the obstacles that I get to endure during
this 5-6 mile race:
Shriveled Richard:
"Jump into
one of our mammoth ice water baths. This one is cold. It's certainly not an
ideal situation for men in speedos. In fact, this obstacle is brutal."
That just.....ouch...
Prep: You can’t really prep for this one aside from deciding
to wear a wet suit beforehand. You have to jump in a muddy pit of ice water and
duck under 2X4’s into it. Yep, it’s going to suck.
Rubbers:
"Sprint through an uphill sea of tires.
Don't fall on your face."
Prep: This is one of the things I am VERY grateful to P90X for, they have an entire section on pretending to jump through tires on the workout of a few of the DVDs and hopefully that comes into play here and will help out.
Thor's Grundle:
"Duck under the wooden baffles to
get a face full of mud. It's disgusting, we know."
Dirty girls...I like.
Prep: It’s the Shriveling Richard with no ice and a ton of
mud added. I live in Florida, Mudding is literally a sport down here. I got
this.
Back Scratcher:
"This is a disgustingly long series
of wooden walls, hay bales, and barbed wire crawls. Most people would rather do
100 burpees if they had the choice (you don't)."
Prep: They had an obstacle similar to this at the Warrior
Dash when I ran it in February, but due to not watching where I was stepping I
messed up my ankle early on in the race and could only go over the smaller
walls. I’m about 30-40 lbs. lighter now than I was then, which should make my
life a lot easier and allow me to actually be able to do this entire thing.
Nutt Smasher:
"The Nutt Smasher is our version of the
balance beam... on crack rock. It's long, wobbly, and most of you will end up
falling off into the mud. Oh yeah, and the awesome people from Autism Speaks
sell water balloons here, so don't be surprised if you get a balloon to the
grill."
Prep: I’ve for some reason always been good at balance beams
so I haven’t really prepped for it at all, but I’m sure the Yoga will help with
that. I was unaware that they let Autistic kids throw balloons at you on this
obstacle, which, damn it, this obstacle went from being the easiest to my ass
is totally falling off of it…
96"" Stiffie:
"An intense climb over an 8
foot wall. Most people can't make this climb unassisted, so don't be afraid to
ask for help."
Prep: Other reason I’m glad I lost weight is so my friends
don’t take one look at me when asking for help and the only reply I get is “oh
HELL no!”
Swamp Trail (aka Shoezilla):
"Run through thick,
shoe sucking mud. We collected over 1,000 shoes from this obstacle alone after
our last race."
Prep: This is one of the other reasons I wanted to try out
the toe shoes, and alas, I concluded I shouldn’t run this race in them. I shall
just have to tie my shoes very, very tight, primarily because my running
microchip is on my shoe and without it I can’t claim my free beer afterwards.
Lumberjack Lane:
"Carry a log or maybe a sand bag
and march, soldier! Bad ass mofos grab two!"
Prep: I’ve been using my 5-year-old niece as a practice log,
this should be a walk in the park.
Big Ass Cargo Net:
"This obstacle is our big ass
cargo net. Climb up, then climb down. We hope you aren't scared of heights."
Prep: Was anyone else raised in Disney World aside from my ignoramus
brother and myself? Remember the huge ass cargo net at the Honey I shrunk the
Kids playground? Yeah, I have years of training for this under my belt, and
granted rusty, I’m sure it will come back to me.
Davey Jones' Locker:
"Jump off of the building into
deep water. This obstacle is fun as hell."
Prep: I have a mild fear of heights (which I find funny
since I have an overwhelming urge to eventually skydive), so I’m willing to bet
money I freeze up here…and that Sean will more than likely push me off then
edge.
Mach 7:
"Haul ass down this slippery mother. It's so
high you will need an oxygen mask. Our new and improved design allows more
Savages to safely slide at once."
.bmp)
Weeeeeeeeee!
Prep: Getting up the wall looks like a pain in the ass, but
doable with a short sprint, and who doesn’t like an industrial sized
slip-n-slide?
Barn Doors:
"We took the doors off of Uncle Jed's
barn and painted them Savage orange. Now you have to climb them."
Prep: This obstacle doesn’t look that hard so I’m guessing
they place it towards the end to mess with heavily fatigued people. No worries,
all the pull-ups I’ve been doing should help out a lot here.
Hay Stacks:
"We stack up the hay. High. Now climb!"
Prep: Why do I have a funny feeling the dueling banjos from
deliverance will be playing in my head as I climb over these things?
Colon Blow 5000:
"Crawl up and down our large
plastic colons. Okay, so they are actually plastic sewer pipes, but you can
still pretend like you are a little gerbil. It's pitch black in there, and
we've thrown in two barbed wire crawls to make it more interesting. Some people
call this our ""scarriest"" obstacle."
Prep: I don’t see how this is scary unless you’re afraid of
the dark, and if anything it just makes me consider wanting to wear knee pads,
because being someone who has crawled through sewer pipes (not for leisure,
either) this ridges will hurt, a lot.
Evil Bars:
"Evil bars are our twisted take on a
childhood classic. Remember your play ground's monkey bars? Well these are
longer, steeper, and more challenging than those were."
...well #%$@...
Prep: this is the obstable I fear the most. In my current
state I still cannot do 1 pull-up. I have a lot of work to do in the next month
if I have any hope of not falling off of it.
Swamp Ass:
"Tromp through the swamp. More mud. More
sweet, sticky, lovely mud."
Prep: Isn’t this kind of the same thing as the shoe sucking
obstacle? I’m seeing a lack of variety here.
Incline Wall:
"By the time you get to the incline
wall obstacle, your ass is pretty much already beat down. Your muscles are
already fried, and now you have to try to make your way up a slippery incline
wall. WTF Savage Race?"
Prep: This is why I need to start doing some form of
sprinting exercise, otherwise I will be doomed when I get to this one.
Tire Pendulum:
"We hang about 200 rubber tires from
ropes and let them swing. Get a few dozen people running through at once and
look out! These bad boys will be swinging everywhere, and believe me you won't
want to catch one to the face."
Prep: Something tells me martial arts training would come in
handy
Flaming Savages:
"Jump over rows of fire. Yes, real
fire. Please take this one seriously. Jump over it. Do not touch it."
Prep: Obstacle solely designed as a badass photo op. Not
that I’m complaining, in fact I love that I get my pic taken as I jump over
fire, I just always panic and can’t decide what kind of pose to strike while I
do it, heh.
Mud N' Guts:
"Low-crawl through delicious mud under
our signature Savage orange barbed wire."
Prep: A low Crawl is a walk in the park compared to most of
the obstacles on this list, so none is really necessary.
Mystery Obstacles:
"We can't give everything away
before the race. Expect a few surprises."
Prep: I’m willing to bet its going to be that hanging
electrical wire they have at the tough mudder races. It’s become a rather
popular obstacle and I’m fairly sure that since it’s in high demand they will
give the people want they want: electricity and pain!!!
With that, I bid you all farewell until next week!
Will
\m/
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