P90X: The Thing That Will Inevitably End Me (Damn You Tony!)

Current Weight: 225.8

I kind of cheated in the middle of the week since I only had to go to work half of the day on Wednesday but that will not be a repeat. It has set me back far too much for something so small.

     Because I’m a glutton for punishment with all these supplements and workout routines, I had the ingenious idea to add p90x to my evening routines while still doing my routine in the morning until the Savage Race on October 19^th. I’m 2 weeks in and there is not a day that goes by that something on me isn’t throbbing or aching (the pervs will have fun with that sentence). I’ve broken down my reps and the routine for the first 6 days of  P90X (the program has you go 6 days on 1 day off) and each section is appropriately titled by the Facebook post I made after each initial workout, which means profanity and a lot of anger with a need for rehydration.

1st day of p90x:
part 1: chest and back - okay, over 200 push up. I can dig it.
part 2: ab ripper X - killlll meeeeeeee!
I can't sit up straight, and I've already developed a huge distain for the director dude who is always perky in the videos....

 

01 STANDARD PUSH-UPS	R	30
	R	30
02 WIDE FRONT PULL-UPS	R		C	10
	R		C	10
03 MILITARY PUSH-UPS	R	30
	R	30
04 REVERSE GRIP PULL-UPS	R		C	10
	R		C	10
05 WIDE FLY PUSH-UPS	R	30
	R	30
06 CLOSED GRIP OVERHEAD PULL-UPS	R		C	10
	R		C	10
07 DECLINE PUSH-UPS	R	30
	R	30
08 HEAVY PANTS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
09 DIAMOND PUSH-UPS	R	30
	R	30
10 LAWNMOWERS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
11 DIVE BOMBER PUSH-UPS	R	10
	R	10
12 BACK FLYS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10

     Before I get bashed for only using 10 lb. dumb bells, it’s all I have; I’m trying to make due with what I have. Hopefully I’ll get some resistance bands here shortly because I hear those work better throughout this process (that and storing dumb bells is a nuisance). For those of you who did the math, yes, I did 60 pull-ups (on a box, I’m still far too weak to pull myself up much less hang there for long periods of time) and 320 push-ups, and it would have been 360 but those dive bomber push-ups and ungodly impossible, especially if you have an overhang.

Sadly that wasn’t the hardest part of the workout that day, this was:

Ab Ripper X

01 IN & OUT	R	25
02 SEATED BICYCLE	R	25
03 SEATED CRUNCHY FROG	R	25
04 CROSSED LEG/WIDE LEG SIT UP	R	25
05 FIFER SCISSOR	R	25
06 HIP ROCK N RAISE	R	25
07 PULSE UP	R	25
08 ROLL UP/V-UP COMBO	R	25
09 OBLIQUE V-UP	R	25
10 LEG CLIMB	R	25
11 MASON TWIST	R	40

This is the only time I’ll be posting the stats for this workout since I have to do it three times a week, but I don’t really vary my reps on it since he goes so fast on the DVD and its only a 15 minute long workout.

This. Will. Murder. You.

I could hardly sit up when I woke up because of this routine, and sadly the next day is by far (being the fat guy I’ve always been) the hardest.

Day 2 of P90x: Plyometrics - aka jump training - aka gravity has never been my friend, and this was a harsh reminder. Also half of the exercises are named after sports moves, which added to my loathing of the exercise. At least I was entertained because my 5-year-old niece decided to try it out which I thought was cute...until she started outdoing me on every last one of the exercises....damn kids...

01 JUMP SQUAT	C	20
	C	20
02 RUN-STANCE SQUAT	C	15
	C	15
03 AIRBORNE HEISMAN	C	15
	C	15
04 SWING KICK	C	15
	C	15
05 SQUAT REACH JUMP	C	15
	C	15
06 RUN STANCE SQUAT SWITCH PICK UP	C	15
	C	15
07 DOUBLE AIRBORNE HEISMAN	C	15
	C	15
08 CIRCLE RUN	C	1:00
	C	1:00
09 JUMP KNEE TUCK	C	5
	C	5
10 MARY KATHERINE LUNGE	C	10
	C	10
11 LEAPFROG SQUAT	C	15
	C	15
12 TWIST COMBO	C	15
	C	15
13 ROCK STAR HOP	C	5
	C	5
14 GAP JUMP	C	10
	C	10
15 SQUAT JACK	C	20
	C	20
16 MILITARY MARCH	C	15
	C	15
17 RUN SQUAT 180 JUMP SWITCH	C	10
	C	10
18 LATERAL LEAPFROG SQUAT	C	10
	C	10
19 MONSTER TRUCK TIRE	C	20
	C	20
20 HOT FOOT	C	1:00
	C	1:00
BONUS ROUND
21 PITCH & CATCH	C	20
	C	20
22 JUMP SHOT	C	20
	C	20
23 FOOTBALL HERO	C	20
	C	20

In the name of all that is holy! By far the worst workout routine for me, not because it is difficult, but because it’s designed for light people who can jump. The entire routine relies on you being able to lift your feet off of the ground, which I can do, all except for the jump knee tuck.

  This dude is showing off using 12 lb. ankle weights but you get the basic idea.

 I made the fatal mistake the first time of doing this barefoot, which is a horrible idea. It’s high impact, wear shock absorbing shit. The second time doing this workout wasn’t near as bad since I knew what was coming, and hopefully with time I’ll be able to master the tucking knee jumps of doom.

Day 3 p90x: Part 1: Shoulders & Arms - finally, something that I can actually outdo the host on!
Part 2: Ab Ripper X - .....fuck the host....

01 ALTERNATING SHOULDER PRESS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
02 IN & OUT BICEP CURLS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
03 TWO-ARM TRICEP KICKBACKS	R	15	W	10
	R	15	W	10
04 DEEP SWIMMERS PRESSES	R	15	W	10
	R	15	W	10
05 FULL SUPINATION CONCENTRATION CURLS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
06 CHAIR DIPS	R	20
	R	20
07 UPRIGHT ROWS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
08 STATIC ARM CURLS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
09 FLIP GRIP TWIST TRICEP KICKBACKS	R	15	W	10
	R	15	W	10
10 TWO-ANGLE SHOULDER FLYS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
11 CROUCHING COHEN CURLS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
12 LYING-DOWN TRICEP EXTENSIONS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
BONUS ROUND
13 IN & OUT STRAIGHT-ARM SHOULDER FLYS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
14 CONGDON CURLS	R	20	W	10
	R	20	W	10
15 SIDE TRI-RISES	R	20
	R	20

I actually really liked this workout, but that’s probably because
A) I only can work with low weight and high reps since that’s all I have and
B) the only chronic working out I’ve done is push-up since I was 16, so I have a tolerance to arm repetition. Hopefully with resistance bands this will become one of the more challenging routines I have to do.

Ab Ripper X (part deuce)

….ouch….

Day 4 of p90x: Yoga X - I just did yoga for 1 1/2 hours. I now feel less manly...and busted my ass about 6 times falling over. I also have a whole new respect for Sting...

01 RUNNERS POSE	C	-
02 CRECENT POSE	C	-
03 WARRIOR ONE	C	-
04 WARRIOR TWO	C	-
05 REVERSE WARRIOR	C	-
06 TRIANGLE POSE	C	-
07 TWISTING TRIANGLE	C	-
08 CHAIR TO TWISTING CHAIR	C	-
09 RIGHT ANGLE POSE TO EXTENDED POSE	C	-
10 PRAYER TWIST FROM RUNNERS POSE	C	-
11 WARRIOR THREE TO STANDING SPLITS	C	-
12 HALF MOON TO TWISTING HALF MOON	C	-
13 TREE	C
14 ROYAL DANCER	C
15 STANDING LEG EXTENSION	C
16 CRANE	C
17 SEATED SPINAL STRETCH	C
18 CAT STRETCH	C
19 FROG	C
20 BRIDGE OR WHEEL	C
21 PLOUGH INTO SHOULDER STAND	C
22 TABLE	C
23 COBBLER POSE	C
24 ONE LEGGED HAMSTRING STRETCH	C
25 TOUCH THE SKY	C
26 BOAT	C
27 HALF BOAT	C
28 SCISSOR	C
29 TORSO TWIST HOLD	C
30 DEEP TORSO TWIST HOLD	C
31 TOUCH THE SKY	C
32 SIDE TWIST	C
33 GLUTE STRETCH	C
34 HAPPY BABY	C
35 CHILDS POSE	C
36 SHAVASANA	C
37 FETAL POSE	C
38 MEDITATION POSE	C

I didn’t bother to type in any times on this chart since I just followed the DVD verbatim, which on this workout will be the first and last time I do that. The first half of the DVD (which is also the longest workout being an hour and a half long) he keeps showing you moves, stacking them, then picking up the pace (I put dashes next to those he keeps stacking together, so until I lose the rest of my gut the first half of this routine is quite literally impossible), so I’ll be modifying it to doing the last 45 minutes and I’ll tack my own bit on the end to give it some finesse.

Day 5 of p90x: Part 1: Legs & Back - This was a lot easier than I had anticipated. Of course I'm saying this before I wake up the next day and can’t move.
Part 2: Ab ripper X - I think I’m finally getting the hang of this! I still hate you, Tony...

01 BALANC LUNGE	R	15	W	10
02 CALF-RAISE SQUAT	R	15	W	10
03 REVERSE GRIP CHIN UP	R		C	10
04 SUPER SKATER	R	15
05 WALL SQUAT	R	15	W	10
06 WIDE FRONT PULL UP	R		C	10
07 STEP BACK LUNGE	R	15	W	10
08 ALTERNATING SIDE LUNGE	R	15	W	10
09 CLOSED GRIP OVERHAND PULL UP	R		C	10
10 SINGLE LEG WALL SQUAT	R	15	W	10
11 DEADLIFT SQUAT	R	15	W	10
12 SWITCH GRIP PULL UP	R		C	10
13 THREE WAY LUNGE WITH KICK OPTION	R	15	W	10
14 SNEAKY LUNGE	R	15	W	10
15 REVERSE GRIP PULL UP	R		C	10
16 CHAIR SALUTATIONS	R	15	W	10
17 TOE ROLL ISO LUNGE	R	15	W	10
18 WIDE FRONT PULL UP	R		C	10
19 GROUCHO WALK	R	15	W	10
20 CALF RAISES	R	15	W	10
21 CLOSED GRIP OVERHAND PULL UP	R		C	10
22 80/20 CYBER SPEED SQUAT	R	15	W	10
23 SWITCH GRIP PULL UP	R		C	10

Even with the light weights this one made my arms feel like jelly. Mostly I blame the pull-ups, because even though I’m grannying it up by standing on a box while doing it I haven’t really worked my biceps since…um….ever actually. Does the 3 weeks I was in beginners’ weight lifting in 9^th grade count? Anyways, massive improvement will be seen here, I assume.

Ab Ripper X
(at this point I’m really glad I’ve been doing the 8-minute abs video from last week’s post since I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be able to move).

Day 6 of p90x: Kenpo X - "I know kung fu" and this makes me really want to watch bad kung fu movies while acting out the scenes with friends...hmmm....

01 TWIST & PIVOT	C
02 TWIST PIVOT HOOK & UPPERCUT	C
03 JABS	C
04 JAB/CROSS	C
05 JAB/CROSS/HOOK	C
06 JAB/CROSS/HOOK/UPPERCUT	C
07 STEP DRAG/HIGH LOW PUNCH	C
08 JAB/CROSS SWITCH	C
09 HOOK/UPPERCUT SWITCH	C
10 KNEE KICK	C
11 BALL KICK	C
12 SIDE KICK	C
13 BACK KICK	C
14 THREE DIRECTION KICK	C
15 SIDE LUNGE WITH HIGH SWORD/HAMMER	C
16 STEP DRAG/CLAW/LOW PUNCH	C
17 HIGH BLOCK	C
18 INWARD BLOCK	C
19 OUTWARD BLOCK	C
20 DOWNWARD BLOCK	C
21 STAR BLOCK	C
22 FRONT SHUFFLE HIGH BLOCK/LOW PUNCH	C
23 KNEE/BACK KICK	C
24 FRONT & BACK KNUCKLES/BALL KICK	C
25 HOOK/UPPERCUT/LOW SIDE KICK	C
26 ELBOW SERIES	C
27 VERTICAL PUNCHES	C

Once again I didn’t bother to fill this one out since I followed the DVD verbatim just to get the gist of this routine. This is by far the most entertaining routine of the entire program due solely to the fact you get to punch and kick a lot so you can at least imagine beating someone up, like the instructor, because he needs it….badly. It did annoy me that halfway through the routine I realized most of these moves obviously came from a woman’s self-defense class, so my hopes of this being something not completely ripping off Billy Blanks (the dude who made Tae-Bo a few years back) were in vein. The most relieving part of this entire routine was the fact that I knew once I finished it I would be done with it for the first week and finally have a day off, which I enjoyed immensely, and slept most of.

I’ll be tracking my progress and posting my results as I continue through this routine, but only once every phase. I want this blog to focus more on my own routine and the Savage Race prep after all. Which reminds me, I got my GoPro Hero 3 helmet camera yesterday in the mail! Which will be a crucial part of my gear for the race, which I’m covering the gear in next week’s blog.

With that I take my leave,

Will

\m/